We struggled to get answers until she was diagnosed with an extremely rare brain disease. I lost my beautiful wife of 40 years. That is strangely comforting to remember that. I hurt in my heart so deep I cant breathe. Missing you always.". God left me here for a reason, I just dont know what for. I used to be the life of the party but that person is gone. I dont think Ive really dealt with this. I lost my son in June 2017. I hope you have found it and are working your way through all of this that we are all battling. I feel isolated. I lost my husband 15 months ago. I hate that he left so unexpectedly and I never had a chance to tell him goodbye or that I loved him so much. I too, was 54 and now in my second year of grief. I have never recovered and the se ond christmas this year is,worse than last year. He had to disconnected his machine after he fought 42 days in the ICU. Nothing like my kind caring husband. Lewis, 23 years old at the time, was the youngest "Big Six" leader to address the thousands-strong demonstration. Three powerful life-changing words passed on from God to us: Now choose life! Diagnosed on 3 Feb and gone 14 Feb. She too was everything to me. They have no idea. all the time.God bless you. NOT EVER!!!!! I have a son who is 13 from a previous marriage, and he is the only reason I stick around. My husband died suddenly, a little over two yrs ago. the kids are so closed to him also, I am so broken. I lost my dad n 2009, my mom 2011, & most recently my husband 2016 after 35 yrs of marriage. I can say there are days that are a bit better than others. Thank you for all your comments and thoughts you are sharing. She would not let it beat her. I am 50 years old, he passed at the age of 53. What should be our 17th wedding anniversary is in two days. I dont mean always, but more often than I expect to. He was my best friend as well as my Father. my daughter whom i was very closed t passed away 18 months ago i miss her so we were like sisters i have lost any feelings i cannot cry y i want to but the tears will not come i used to be a lot of fun but now i just dwell on what has happened to lose daughter when she is part of u is the worse feeling i have tried to keep busy but nothing helps wish i could cry. I was numb. I have photos of him everywhere and just stand in front of them every time I walk past. I am so grateful for them. I keep his ashes in a necklace that I would hurt someone over if ever tried to remove it from neck. I pray that there is a heaven & I will see him again. I continue to struggle with that every single day. Am I alone feeling like this? I know how you feel. So lets make the best of the life we have. Please stay strong and know that youre not alone. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but youll come out. I have a lot of support but. I can not and will not just put my son aside like he wasnt an amazing person. Navigating that first year, through anniversaries, birthdays and holidays can feel endless. Dear Dad, It's been one year and one month since you're gone. The first year was like being shipwrecked and all I could do was hang on to the wreckage and try to stay afloat as the storm raged around me. 22 years together. I live with grief and depression everyday. - Unknown. I lost my wife 14 months ago, we . Im sure that I am ready to date and I am grateful my friend is so patient. I dont know at the moment what the day will provide. I have come to realize for myself that I ultimately need to move rid myself of too many artifacts of our life. Jackie, you spoke the words of my heart. Year number 1 I was numb. you feel the loss even greater i feel. My crying break downs are now short and fewer, but any little memory can set me off. Even in the final week she thought of the future. They came to everything I was involved in from adolescence into adulthood. I struggle to find anyone whos gone through something similar since its so rare. People say to me its early days but you should start going out and meeting folk, however, I dont want to. Life is filled with pain and I cant find the balance without my husband. I function. A week later he was so weak he was hospitalized then sent to hospice and then he was gone. She too is an amazing person and as much as I know we shouldnt make comparisons, she has the same qualities I found in my wife. But now I sit here missing her so much Thanking God for the time I had with my husband we were together 36 years but it seems harder now. He was 36yrs old. If the second year is worst than the first I do t know if Ill survive. I am numb and hopeless since I lost my beloved soul mate and husband of 31 years. I miss you. I was thirteen, now I'm fourteen. I do have support from family and friends but still feel so all alone. I cry everyday and into the night, have no interest or desire to engage with other people, and I miss him so I just want to say this to you and I know you wont like but I know you know Im right! I dont agree with suicide and ending ones life, I at least understand why I did what I did. Im still trying to get over the shock of the diagnosis let alone his death. I am glad I found this site Than you for reading this and I do understand your pain. I cannot deal with that thought. He was like a Dad to me since my own wasnt he stepped up and took very good care of me. This loss has left me feeling like i have lost all ability to find any happiness. Its been 1 year since the love of my life died of a heart attack. Or how about my whole immediate family thats destroyed. But, my life, as a widower, as a single man, did not include them just like, I really didnt fit into their life I wasnt their sister, their aunt, or theyre best friend. So I decided to move back home to St. Louis. Our bond of love was so deep and our lives so inextricably intertwined that a part of me died that day too. For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. I hope that all of us find a peace and it may not be till we cross to the other side and find the loves of our lives waiting there on us. Lost my son,my only child and best friend,13 months ago,38 years old,fell down his basement stairs,hit hit his head and died four days later.The pain gets worse every day.I cant even say more. A battle every day to overcome his heart disease with swollen limbs from heart failure. memories we had together. I feel like I am broken and never will be fixed. I have 4 grown-up children and 3 grandchildren and we are close but as others have said, there is a vast hole where he belongs. I hope you have survived you thoughts of taking you life. We were lovers and partners for 32 years. Cashing Stimulus Checks Sent to Deceased Persons - AARP If you can please,get out there a start to live..it a different life but it needs living. My Uncle was my Father figure, he & my Mum were very close & he would talk about her regularly. So much ahead-so many great plans. I dont know whats gonna happen. I lived with her the last 8 yrs of her life & cared for her for the last 3 yrs. For the first month I couldnt have a conversation or finish a sentence. I lost my brother five years ago at the age of 43. I try to filter the thoughts in my mind so as not to feel the pain. Grief counselling for me in next 3m which helped build confidence. Right now, choose life - seize your divine moment. The one thing I asked my counselor was why, why would I do that? Wedding anniversary his birthday. . Margaret, your husband died after 46 years of marriage last year and mine round the same time after 45 years. After 37 years of marriage-we finally found our dream home and had no financial issues for first time in our lives. Ive been struggling but its been manageable. Made some new friends as well, attend a different church. Im at month 16 and grieving seems to be taking over my life. Blaming self for the death. I cannot go grocery shopping or I cry when I see his food. I lost my husband of 34 yrs to a brain tumor 7 weeks after diagnosis. Its too hard to live without them. It's just me & my 6 year old son now. At 66 tomorrow, birthday week for both of us. Theres no point to anything and Im not the mum I used to be. Sweetie I understand completely. Sounds crazy right. But I get no answers God doesnt tell me why just to trust Him. They are my life line; especially since I live in town without my daughter and grandchildren, or for that matter without my parents, brothers sisters and extended family. My husband listens and understands and yet I continue to be sad. so tight that only death could break it.And it did. Two hours later my daughter was wondering why Dad didnt reply all of her texts, she tried calling him many times but no answer, 45 minutes later a cop knocked on our door and told me he was in the ER, I didnt think much of it, my oldest daughter ran to the ER where he was ( we live a few feet away from the hospital) while I am taking care of my then 7 years old son. But you learn that youll survive them. I do have my faith and helps sustain me And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. There are many people today in situations where their pets mean everything to them just like any human being could. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. It broke my heart to watch him suffer. I wonder if it will ever get better. It helps me to know that although I feel alone, I am not alone in my emotions. Im more insular now and dad wouldnt want that I know but Ive slways been a bit one bitten twice shy. I just want five minutes with my mum. Love to everyone out there. You are not depressed and forget the damn therapy! They then called us to get in the room where he was, he was there lying on the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was hooked on tubes a lot of tubes with the machine that was pumping real hard, my oldest daughter that was with me was screaming, we love you so much dad, you can do this etc. That I was doing the things one does to deal with grief. The second year was painful that my wife of 28 years was not experiencing trips I was taking or vacations with our daughters. The little things that you wished you would have done more often, the I love yous you didnt say enough, even the Im sorry, just being able to hold them again, to have them come home. Take each day at a time, pray and thank God for the time he gave you with her. Second year I basically ran, walked alone on hikes, tried to get to know the new place. Im trying to keep positive for my other son but inside In broken. I lightly recommend this only as I am just starting to read it myself.
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